Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
