I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
