thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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