so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize