he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
