we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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