Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
