brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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