I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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