my vag is so smooth its legendary
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
