just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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