i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
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we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
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Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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