im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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