IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
