This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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