if i can run in heels then i can drive
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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