So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
