glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Will exercising make me less horny?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
