get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
people are starting to question the shark bite story
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
