Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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