the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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