I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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