seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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