he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
