Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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