So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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