I molested 6 butterflies tonight
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Randomize
