I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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