She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
In America we eat man semen.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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