I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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