Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
