you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
