and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
