you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
