FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
