Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
