I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
