Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
