u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
