why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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