do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
