party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
