Jerry, you need to find god
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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