I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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