Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
