I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
All the doctor said was why
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