she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
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If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
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He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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