I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
