he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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