Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
