He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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