Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
