Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
