I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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