do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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