Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
