hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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