i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
