smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
