Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
